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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29513088">I'm Alone... We're Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61'>Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, Grief, Slow-Burn Destiel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29513088</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel mourn the loss of Sam in their little family. TAKES PLACE IN THE ASCENDANCY TRIALS UNIVERSE (DEATHLESS, BLACKOUT).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Alone... We're Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/16292048">Blackout</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61">Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wrote this awhile ago, and totally forgot to post it. Enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean was drinking. That wasn’t anything new. Lately he was drinking whatever he could get his hands on. Now he wasn’t even sure what he was drinking. Some weird whiskey/tequila hybrid. It was vile. But he needed it, to burn away everything.</p><p>After taking a sip and scrunching up his face from the burn and gross taste, he realized that he wasn’t alone.</p><p>Dean knew who it was. It wouldn’t have been anyone else.</p><p>Sam was gone. Ruler of Hell and all.</p><p>Dean turned to Castiel, sighing, rubbing the bottle against his palms.</p><p>“You don’t have to be here, Cas.”</p><p>“But I am,” Castiel told him, going and sitting down on the floor with him by the counter. Castiel took the bottle and had a sip.</p><p>“It’s all gone,” Dean said. “We lost. I’m…” Dean started getting choked up and immediately snatched the bottle back, having a long pull.</p><p>God, that stuff was nasty.</p><p>But his throat burned, his mouth, and his lips were filled with that familiar, sensual warmth. He sighed, leaning his head back against the counter.</p><p>His body ached, after effects of the injuries from the battle. He was healed. Mostly. But he hurt like he still bled, like his skin was bruised, and he was weak, and vulnerable, and absolutely helpless.</p><p>Helpless. He’d been too helpless to stop any of it. The demon attack, the angels, the killings.</p><p>Sammy.</p><p>“What did we do wrong?” Dean asked Castiel.</p><p>Castiel just took his sip from the bottle, and didn’t answer.</p><p>“That’s it. Just… poof, all those people gone. And we’re—we’re…”</p><p>“You’re not alone, Dean.”</p><p>“Yeah? Then where the fuck is my brother?”</p><p>“You know. I… I know.”</p><p>Dean gave a dark laugh. “That just makes it worse. I wish he was dead!”</p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>“No. No, Cas. You don’t get to tell me how to feel about this. You’re telling me you’re okay with him being alive, being <em>that</em>? The <em>King</em> of <em>Hell</em>?”</p><p>Cas grabbed his shoulder, nearly hauling him on top of him, bristling with anger.</p><p>“You know I never said that. <em>Never.</em> Sam was my friend! He was my brother. Don’t act like you’re the only one hurt here.”</p><p>“Well at least I’m sad about it. You’re just blank, empty.”</p><p>Castiel’s eyes fell. They were… Oh, my god, they were sad.</p><p>“I miss him.”</p><p>Dean just looked at him with his mouth open.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Wow, that was pathetic. Couldn’t Dean come up with something better to say? Maybe the alcohol was already kicking in.</p><p>“Doesn’t change that I’m alone,” Dean muttered, having more to drink, a perfect burn following his words.</p><p>There was a long silence, and Castiel’s hand fell on his thigh, not gripping, just… there.</p><p>His angel assured, voice soft, “I’m still here.”</p>
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